Normally, I show up to talk about mindfulness, but today I actually want to reflect on mindlessness.
I do make a conscious effort to stay mindful throughout my day, but even I am guilty of experiencing moments of mindlessness that can often leave me feeling unsettled and confused. This morning was a perfect example. I went out for my usual, 4-mile run, which is about three times around my lake. As soon as I hit the pavement, I started thinking about my mom’s doctor’s appointment tomorrow and how I was going to handle a scheduling conflict I had during that time. For 45 minutes I tried to work it out in my head, and by the time I was done, I realized I wasn’t aware of how many laps I did around the lake. Did I go two times or three times? I didn’t have my watch, so I thought, “Oh well, I’ll just run one more time around, and maybe this time, I’ll try being present with it.”
I literally lost that time because I was stuck trying to solve a problem that could have easily been left for later. I gave that 45 minutes away to someone else that wasn’t even present with me. In all reality, the problem wasn’t a big problem. I made it bigger than it was because I’m protective of my mom. Having realized that, I felt a little pissed off. That time was gone and now I felt irritated.
My time out by the lake is for me. It's an intentional time that I carve out for myself to gear me up for the day. It's a time to feel inspired, get creative, feel motivated and lift my spirits. But today, instead of feeling that euphoria, I felt disappointed, confused, and a little stressed out - the exact opposite of how a morning run should make me feel.
Going throughout our day mindlessly, not paying attention to the moments that we are in, can have a negative impact on our health when done habitually. It can result in stress, anxiety and difficulty managing emotions. It can also lead to poor eating habits, overeating and difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. Additionally, it can contribute to sleep disturbances and impaired cognitive functioning. Practicing mindfulness addresses all of these issues. Now I’m not saying that we have to be mindful all of the time. That’s a bit unrealistic, and we are only human. But constant running on autopilot or letting your mind wander can harm your health in the long run.
In moments like this morning, it’s important for me to remember the foundational attitudes of mindfulness meditation, two of which are non-judgement and non-striving. I was disappointed because I felt like I let myself down. I teach mindfulness to others, yet I didn’t practice it myself. I was irritated because I wasn’t where I thought I should be in this practice.
Before I beat myself up more, I set an intention and walked another lap. It gave me a chance to get back into gratitude for the beautiful weather, the ability to move my body, and the free day that I had ahead of me. It enabled me to get back to center and focus on what’s important.
Which brings me to acceptance, another of the foundational attitudes. Maybe, just maybe I was right where I was supposed to be in those 45 minutes. Perhaps there was a lesson. I probably just have more work to do on something, namely my perfectionism. As they say, “acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today.”